Letters at Large

Shoot.   Amateur Makeup Artist, Professional Internetter, Master Doofus.

Anonymous asked: Pregnant and recently pregnant women are more likely to be victims of homicide than to die of any other cause, and evidence exists that a significant proportion of all female homicide victims are killed by their intimate partners. Pregnancy can be an especially dangerous time for women in abusive relationships, and abuse can often begin or escalate during the pregnancy. Don't EVER say an abortion is not needed to escape abuse or death because you CLEARLY have no idea what you're talking about.


Answer:

misandry-mermaid:

oh-snap-pro-choice:

oh-snap-pro-lifers:

Well if a woman is in abusive relationship and the guy isn’t much short of having her at gunpoint and threatens her and black mails her into an abortion, or scares her into an abortion, and there’s next to nothing she can do, then he is an evil piece of scum. The abortion is still murder, but I’d say the blood is on his hands, not hers.

Let me be clear though, the abortion is still completely wrong. And an unborn human being is still equally is dead and mutilated. - Gabbie

Have you ever been in an abusive relationship before Gabbie? I’m willing to bet you probably haven’t. Let me explain then.

The abuser WANTS their victim pregnant usually. They WANT a child involved so that the person has no choice but to stay with them under their power, they use that to their advantage and use the child as leverage to prevent their victim from escaping.

THAT is why abuse victims need abortions. We need them because we cannot be trapped with our abusers, because we know it will kill us and because we know what sort of future that child will end up with.

If I had gotten pregnant off my abusive ex I can say with 100% certainty that I would have aborted and would not have regretted it for an instant. Because if I hadn’t and been pregnant? Well for one think I would have taken my own life. (But my life doesn’t matter to you does it?).

For another it would have made me financially dependant on my abuser, because an unemployed, depressed 18 year old with no financial support and no education simply cannot survive as a single parent in my city. And adoption would not have been an option either considering pregnancy cost and maintenance in addition to pregnancy being a potentially massive mental health trauma.

If you have never experienced abuse in a relationship or rape, then do yourself a favour and please, never, ever talk about it because you don’t know shit and you’re ignorance is both appalling and insulting. Especially considering you would be perfectly happy to have trapped me with my abuser and perfectly okay with me killing myself. Just so long as I didn’t have an abortion instead.

-Lemon

When my mom was in her early 20s, she was in a relationship with a somewhat abusive guy and he got her pregnant.  Within the first few weeks of them finding out, his abuse escalated to the point that he was physically hurting her and preventing her from seeing her friends or family.  He was extremely controlling, manipulative, and paranoid.  She knew if she had the child, even if they broke up,  she would have obviously been forced to keep that abuser in her life for decades because he would have requested custody and visitation rights.  Finally one day, without telling him, she moved out of their shared apartment and got an abortion.  Because of the choice she made, I am alive today.  I was the wanted child she was able to have because she had access to abortion services as a young woman.

— 4 hours ago with 499 notes

tokomon:

Lady Snowblood // 1973

(via pizzahaute)

— 4 hours ago with 206 notes
"……they’re burning in the blaze of hellfire, now. I’m not against it though."

Pulling out the Gay Friend Credentials, classy.

"……they’re burning in the blaze of hellfire, now. I’m not against it though."

Pulling out the Gay Friend Credentials, classy.

— 1 day ago with 1 note
#okcupid  #okstupid  #okcreepsters  #okcreeps 

captainwhitechocolate:

pikestaff:

Daily reminder that Jean-Luc Picard was rejected the first time he applied to Starfleet Academy so remember that whenever you feel like giving up

And that it wasn’t until he was literally stabbed in the heart that he turned his life onto the path that led him to become the great captain we all admire. So remember that too whenever you feel like giving up.

(via science-officer-spock)

— 4 days ago with 4558 notes

ladycrappo:

Nothing on TV: static + test pattern.

Genius. I’m doing this.

(via pizzahaute)

— 4 days ago with 10340 notes
"

Ten Women I Have Been Warned Against Becoming:

1. The Girl Who Takes Up Too Much Space, always, her shoulders too wide in stairwells, her hips too big in doorways, her voice too loud in classes. This woman does not understand the art of crumbling, of curling herself tight like the spiral of a fern, soft, delicate, unwilling to reach out the ivy of her fingers to grasp onto what should rightfully be hers. This is a beast, an elephant, a moving mountain and she is capable of flattening you, she is capable of ruining you, she is capable of making you feel as small and insignificant in her life as she is supposed to be. You are this woman’s footnote to history, you are her side note in song lyrics, you are constantly interrupted by her with a witty joke you wish you thought of. I asked what the problem was with being a steamroller instead of a sunflower and I was laughed down.

2. The Beautiful One, the long hair or the slim waist or the pretty eyes or the lips like bowstrings. This woman looks good in everything because she’s confident in whatever you put her in. She’ll cut her hair short on you no matter how you like it, she’ll wear high heels and step on your opinions, she’ll look hot as hell no matter what size she is. See, the reason you can’t trust her is because women like this don’t need your permission, they’ll do as they please and get away with it. They’ll say no to you, over and over. Teach your daughters that beautiful means dangerous, teach them to distrust women who love themselves. Equate beautiful with vapid, equate pretty with stupid, take their power from them. Say they’re vain for their makeup, refuse to see them without it. These women are snakes, they are serpents. I said maybe the problem lies with you being unable to control yourself and was told to get off my pedestal.

3. A Bitch. Women are supposed to be ladies in the street but will tear skin under sheets. I’m told: Never raise your voice. Speak gently. Submit. Hold your opinion against your lips and when you admit to it, make sure it comes out as a butterfly wing suggestion. Don’t disagree. Don’t undermine someone else’s authority, regardless of whether or not they deserve your respect. Someone touches you, just move away from them. Don’t hit. Don’t talk back. Be like the ruins of Rome, only beautiful if you can’t hear your quiet death.

4. The Needy One. I have heard how others spit when they talk about how she gave you everything and you shoved it back down her throat until she choked on it, until she came back crawling and asked you what she did, until her palms and knees were scraped for want of just a little affection - never be this woman, I’m told, because she’s a joke and the joke is that she dared to have more emotion than you did. The truth is, I’m told, the one who cares less in a partnership is the one who wins. I didn’t know this was a competition.

5. The Cock Tease, certified stripper, how dare that girl look like that and not want me to sleep with her. Lust is always personified as a lady in red with a dress slit up her thigh. Lust is sinful because it’s power, it’s not asking for attention - it’s demanding it. I’m told she is the worst kind of woman, that looking good is supposed to be some kind of shame on her kin. I’m told not to leave the house in such a short skirt, not with a shirt so low, not with a lace back, not with high heels, not dressed like that. My lipstick can’t be too red, my hair can’t be too mussed, I can’t just “turn someone on like that and then leave them wanting.” I mentioned that instant gratification actually ruins our psyche and was told that being led on was “exhausting.” I said that there was a difference between purposefully tricking someone into liking you and just being attractive or friendly. I was told there’s also a difference between coffee and tea but both result in caffeine. I said, “I’ve been turned on in class by the girls I talk to but I didn’t expect anything from them,” and they said, “It’s different, you’re not a man,” but couldn’t explain where that difference was.

6. A Slut, obviously ruined by another person’s touch. It doesn’t matter how many people she’s actually been with, it’s all about the rumors she carries with her. Easy. Harlot. You’ll still try to get with her, you’ll still take her into your bed and kiss her and say things you don’t mean - but you’ll defame her name when you talk to your buddies. My father used to say “A slut is fine for the night, but the virgin is who you take home and marry.” Maybe he didn’t know he was teaching his daughter to hate her sexuality. Maybe he didn’t know that every time she’d be kissed, her whole system would shake until she felt ready to combust, shame and self-hatred shivering against her spine. Maybe he didn’t know she’d disconnect emotions and sex because he always told her, “Boys are different, they won’t care about you.” Nobody said to her that it was okay to experiment. See, the funny thing is, I’m a dancer so I know exactly where my center of gravity is. I know how hard I’ll fall in each direction. Yet out of fear of getting hurt, I won’t let a single person inside of my bed.

7. The Soulmate. Never love romance more than you love being cynical. Never show weakness, never like pink, never think maybe you might find someone nice and settle down with them. Someone will find you, I was told, And if you’re lucky, he’ll put up with you when you start getting old. Never be the woman who believes in happily ever after, never be dumb enough to think maybe someone could love you after all of your mistakes. It has nothing to do with whether or not a family is important to you and you’re in a good place where a relationship would make your life better - you’re not a princess. You don’t get married, you settle.

8. The Girl With Strength, who can outrun everyone and who is stronger than her boyfriend. “See the thing about boys,” says my daddy, “Is that you have to let them win.” I sat at home and read stories about Artemis and wanted to become the huntress, too. I wanted to howl at the moon, I wanted to slay the beasts that bested me, I wanted to rule my kingdom with bloody fists. But girls are never athletes, never supposed to be “built,” regardless of the fact civilizations were constructed on our spines and we made homes in war by the steel of our ribs. Never be strong. We are supposed to wilt.

9. The Lady CEO: because if you choose work over family, are you really a girl? How dare you fight your way to the top through every pair of eyes that bore through your blouse, through every meeting where you were hushed by the sound of someone else talking, through every time someone called you “sweetie,” how dare you yearn for something. Is your husband the stay-at-home one? I can’t imagine how that is going. He’s not a real man, after all. I don’t give it long before the divorce. How dare you decide you’re happy being single. Don’t you know you’re supposed to bear children. Where is your honor? Where is your wisdom? Who cares if you are the leader, the best suited for your position, the quickest-thinking, the one who makes the hardest clients come back again. Don’t you see? Across history, women have been terrible at success. They always lose their man in the end. (When I said, “I would rather be a famous author than a mediocre mother,” I was told, “No, don’t worry, you’ll be a fine mommy.”)

10. THE GIRL I AM: FIRECRACKER AND DON’T YOU FUCKING FORGET IT I’LL RIP YOU TO SHREDS AND I WON’T FUCKING REGRET IT I’M NOT YOUR PRETTY GIRL I’M NOT YOUR ANYTHING I’M PERFECT, MOTHERFUCKER, AND I’M NOT GOING TO GIVE UP WHAT I’M DOING. I DON’T WANT TO BE “LADYLIKE” THAT LITERALLY MEANS NOTHING I’M NOT GOING TO STOP STANDING UP AND DEMANDING WHAT’S COMING TO ME. I’M GONNA BE SOMEBODY. I’M GONNA MAKE THEM REMEMBER ME. I REFUSE TO BE OVERSHADOWED IN HISTORY. I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE TRYING TO CREATE BUT YOU MADE ME A DRAGON YOU PUT ME IN THE FIRE AND WHEN I STOPPED BURNING I LEARNED HOW TO GLOW DON’T THINK YOU CAN STOP ME YOU CAN’T TAME A TORNADO.

"

In respectful response to a poem tilted, “Ten men women have warned me against becoming." /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)

work

(via wintry-mix)

Easily the most beautiful thing I’ve ever read.

(via feministcaptainkirk)

— 4 days ago with 49583 notes

nixpunk:

i’m not like other girls. actually, i’m nothing like other girls. and that girl u saw get on the bus earlier isn’t like other girls either. it’s surprising, really. it’s almost as if everybody is different from each other. holy shit

(via feministcaptainkirk)

— 4 days ago with 213510 notes